About 6 months ago I wrote a blog post about my PTSD. It was very hard for me to write but it was good to get out, and I also had so many caring friends who love me and care about me who were concerned for me. I also had people contact me and open up to be about their experience with PTSD. I feel like that post opened lots of windows for me and others. If you are new in my life and don't know, please read this:MY PTSD STORY before reading this blog post. I wanted to do an update on my PTSD because I think I am doing fantastic!
Most of you know from being my friend or reading my blog that I proudly take antidepressants that amazingly saved my life. Last year I was really depressed and I wanted kill myself. The stress of life, infertility treatments, dealing with the pain in my mind everyday got to be too much. Its now been almost a year since I started taking my anti-depressants. I feel so happy, and so great. In my last post I talked about how I was terrified of shooting because of my PTSD and how Women of Caliber saved me. Now, someone can hand me a gun of any caliber, and I am not afraid to shoot it or think I am going to die anymore. I am not scared to drive down the street. I rarely flinch as I am driving through intersections, I feel semi-comfortable when someone else is driving, , I don't have the flashbacks while i'm driving,I don't check my alarm clock 10 times before going to bed, I can leave the house if the dryer is on, and I don't check to see if the stove is on before I leave the house either. I had a ton of anxiety in my life that made life almost unbearable. I can't tell you the last time I had a dream of a car accident. This is all stuff that I had been painfully dealing with for almost 9 years. I can feel the effects of my happiness in my friendships and in everyday life. I feel like I love more, and care more. I am not as shy or worried what people think of me as much, except for my weight gain, that makes me self conscious. But I feel more open with people, and I am amazed at the great friends I have in my life.
The downfall to my anti-depressants is I gained 20 pounds and that really made me upset. I was feeling very comfortable with my body and in my clothes and then I gained all this weight, it sucked. I have decided to come off of my anti-depressants. Since my midwife moved away who prescribed me my anti-depressants, I went to my Nurse Practitioner who I love, and who pretty much saved my Thyroid. She warned me that coming off my meds will be hard. I have done it before quite a few years ago and it was terrible. You feel dizzy, foggy, and like your brain is going crazy, zappy, and electrocuting. My concern when I come off my meds that I will have anxiety again, because the anti-depressants also helped with my anxiety. I am not depressed anymore, but I think I will still have the anxiety in my life, its something that is always going to be there. She prescribed me just an anxiety medicine, that wont make me tired or gain weight.
I am excited to stop taking the anti-depressants and that I feel my PTSD is manageable. I am hoping that it will not all come back and I will be scared of everything again. I hope I can still be this brave person I have become. A warning to my friends and family, I apologize in advanced for the things I am going to do or say while I am coming off my meds. I have a feeling I may be very irritable and grumpy for a while.
Most of you know from being my friend or reading my blog that I proudly take antidepressants that amazingly saved my life. Last year I was really depressed and I wanted kill myself. The stress of life, infertility treatments, dealing with the pain in my mind everyday got to be too much. Its now been almost a year since I started taking my anti-depressants. I feel so happy, and so great. In my last post I talked about how I was terrified of shooting because of my PTSD and how Women of Caliber saved me. Now, someone can hand me a gun of any caliber, and I am not afraid to shoot it or think I am going to die anymore. I am not scared to drive down the street. I rarely flinch as I am driving through intersections, I feel semi-comfortable when someone else is driving, , I don't have the flashbacks while i'm driving,I don't check my alarm clock 10 times before going to bed, I can leave the house if the dryer is on, and I don't check to see if the stove is on before I leave the house either. I had a ton of anxiety in my life that made life almost unbearable. I can't tell you the last time I had a dream of a car accident. This is all stuff that I had been painfully dealing with for almost 9 years. I can feel the effects of my happiness in my friendships and in everyday life. I feel like I love more, and care more. I am not as shy or worried what people think of me as much, except for my weight gain, that makes me self conscious. But I feel more open with people, and I am amazed at the great friends I have in my life.
The downfall to my anti-depressants is I gained 20 pounds and that really made me upset. I was feeling very comfortable with my body and in my clothes and then I gained all this weight, it sucked. I have decided to come off of my anti-depressants. Since my midwife moved away who prescribed me my anti-depressants, I went to my Nurse Practitioner who I love, and who pretty much saved my Thyroid. She warned me that coming off my meds will be hard. I have done it before quite a few years ago and it was terrible. You feel dizzy, foggy, and like your brain is going crazy, zappy, and electrocuting. My concern when I come off my meds that I will have anxiety again, because the anti-depressants also helped with my anxiety. I am not depressed anymore, but I think I will still have the anxiety in my life, its something that is always going to be there. She prescribed me just an anxiety medicine, that wont make me tired or gain weight.
I am excited to stop taking the anti-depressants and that I feel my PTSD is manageable. I am hoping that it will not all come back and I will be scared of everything again. I hope I can still be this brave person I have become. A warning to my friends and family, I apologize in advanced for the things I am going to do or say while I am coming off my meds. I have a feeling I may be very irritable and grumpy for a while.
Good for you! We need to talk sometime. I now take a natural anti depressant/anexity vitamin/micronutrients, and am on no anexity, depression, or other pills for my ptsd, etc. Let me know if you want to know more. Remember you are strong, beautiful, and a daughter of good!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! We need to talk sometime. I now take a natural anti depressant/anexity vitamin/micronutrients, and am on no anexity, depression, or other pills for my ptsd, etc. Let me know if you want to know more. Remember you are strong, beautiful, and a daughter of good!
ReplyDelete